I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
