I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
