Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
