I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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