My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize