so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
