i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
