you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
