dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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