Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
