member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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