I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
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I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
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I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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