She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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