Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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