He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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