i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
