If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
