The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
