Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
