so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
