I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
