Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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