There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
