Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
