Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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