He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
