I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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