it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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