He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you never un-have a 4some
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
