My room smells like vodka and shame
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
