ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
