oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
