You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
