it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
