So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I pour the whiskey from now on
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
