How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
