You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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