There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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