so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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