dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
