Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
