I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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