thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
