Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize