your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
