We won't sleep together?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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