Pants 0. Shit 1.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
