Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
