It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm always down for nudity.
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