i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
