There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
