I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
