just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dignity is for republicans.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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