She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
